Learning is different in children and adults. Should we care?

This question has been in my head for a while before I decided to write it down. The thoughts have naturally shaped a list of different learning modes between children and adults, based on my personal observations and experiences.

The learning modes are similar to settings in a giant learning operating system that sets and controls learning processes. None of the modes are good or bad. They are what make us who we are and how we learn. If you are aware of your default settings, you can try switching them and get a different perspective.

Let’s dive in. 

 

Differences in learning settings between adult and children modes:


MOTIVE - Urge to know vs. Need to know

Cambridge dictionary defines motive as “a reason for doing something”. It’s a great place to start. 

  • Child mode - Urge to know - Children are motivated by the urge to learn. In Hebrew, we say “Ba li” which means “I want to,” “I am in the mood for.” For grownups, it might sound infantile or impulsive, but trust me. Nothing can stand between the pure will of a child eager to know what would happen to that sharp blinking object if it dropped near your head. I am constantly learning from my children to implement the “ba li” mode into my learning practice. 

  • Adult mode - Need to - Adults are capable of imagining the future and understanding cause and effect. These two factors impact the way adults think. “I need to finish… in order to…” frame an adult’s way of thinking. While it’s absolutely normal to see a child obsessed with mastering a skill just because she’s into it, it is less common to see an adult pursuing a certain skill with passion, just for passion’s sake. And even then, there is usually a rational explanation ready (the exception might be games adults play, just for fun).

INTENSITY - High intensity vs. Comfort learning

In this instance, “intensity” refers to the strength with which we are willing to challenge our comfort levels and face the fear of failure.

  • Child mode - High-intensity learning - Constant state of repetition and improvement. I attribute this quality to what’s called a built-in growth mindset. Children find joy in minor improvements. My three-year-old daughter Roni is in the stage of improving her Russian, which is her second language, and she’s just started speaking some words to please her grandma. There is a song she loves from the Russian Winnie The Pooh. You should have heard her murmuring it to herself two weeks ago. It was adorable, but had no connection to the Russian language. Since then, she’s been practicing it consistently, demonstrating the improvement and self-correction that occurs with uninterrupted practice.

  • Adult mode - Comfort learning - Barbara Oakley mentioned in the “Learning How to Learn” course (highly recommended!) that adults tend to stay in their comfort zone when it comes to learning. Even when we learn new things, we prefer to plateau where the risk of failure is low, and we seek knowledge related to what we already know. While it profoundly improves our expertise, it may create an illusion of competence, as we are constantly proving to ourselves that we have the knowledge we need. 

 

DRIVE - Immediate pleasure vs. “What’s in it for me?”

What moves us to achieve a goal.

  • Child mode - Immediate pleasure - Pleasure by itself is not a goal. Pleasure is an indication that the learning and growth processes are working well. Children are wired to seek pleasure, in a good way. Our brain and body are programmed to learn better and acquire knowledge and habits that make us feel good. Pleasurable learning is a result of a meaningful and relevant learning experience. When we achieve a goal that takes us one baby step forward, it feels good. So pleasure is a kind of a compass leading to the ocean of learning opportunities. It  drives us and fuels our motivation.

  • Adult mode - What’s in it for me - Adult nature is much lazier than children’s. Most of us need a good reason to get up from the couch. And we’d better have a plan to achieve our goal with minimal effort in a minimum amount of time. “Goal orientation” in learning might make us masters of good grades instead of masters of knowledge. However, this laziness leads to efficiency, which is a good thing (most of the time). More than that, knowing what’s in it for us can help process learning material, deepening understanding and owning it. In other words, it makes the learning last.

 

FLOW - Play vs. Discipline/Willpower

Flow is a state of mind in which a person becomes fully immersed in an activity. Positive psychologist Mihály Csíkszentmihályi describes flow as a state of complete immersion in an activity.”

  • Child mode - Play - Play is the most natural way for humans and animals to learn. For both humans and animals, play is the art of children. Adults can play too, but it seems like open, unconditioned play is a gift strongest at a young age. While playing, children are “in the zone,” free to use their imagination and body to create the most accurate conditions for their development needs. It is paradoxical, because the more open the play is, the more specific it becomes for the child. You can quickly know what the child is going through or interested in learning by observing her play. I am fascinated by the use of play in learning. Prepare yourself to read more about the subject in future posts. 

  • Adult mode - Discipline/ willpower - Adults have developed tricky willpower abilities. The opposite of flow is to burn out by over-disciplining your will. 

I like to think of willpower like a clutch in a car. You use it to switch between the modes, helping you push here and there. But when you abuse it, you put dangerous pressure on the whole engine. 

Entering the flow state is a skill that adults can develop, putting willpower and discipline to better use. Please use your willpower only to remind yourself why you need this morning run or another way that connects you to the flow. Easier said than done? Don’t worry, practice makes perfect!

CONDITIONS - Unconditional learning vs. Precise conditions

What can’t you learn without?

  • Child mode - Unconditional learning - Think of a child, consider my eight-month-old son Schahar, learning to climb. Sometimes, it’s unbearable how often he climbs. Everywhere – nonstop. Please, just stop for a second and let me make this cup of coffee! Learning is happening everywhere and all the time. Number of attempts per week: Around a trillion.

  • Adult mode - Dependence on precise conditions - Think of an adult, let’s say younger me without my guru kids, learning handstands. Number of attempts per week: Two or three – tops, once or twice a week at a yoga class. But only if I feel good enough, and the teacher asked us to (and not without protesting, since we already did handstands this month).

 

ENVIRONMENT - Physical learning vs. Head learning

  • Children mode - Physical learning - I found an interesting study about songbirds that shows how wings’ movement is a key condition to their sound learning acquisition. Without physical movement, the memory creation process will not occur properly. The study shows similarities between songbirds and babies in their learning patterns.

Children need movement for exploration, problem-solving, and learning. Especially in early childhood, physical learning is most effective, as it involves the spatial, visual, and perceptual brain areas vital to our survival skills. Working with concrete examples and objects improves understanding significantly.

  • Adult mode - Head learning - While physical learning is essential for adults too, it’s usually underused. 

In adulthood, additional parts of our brain develop and allow us to comprehend abstract concepts and make complicated procedures in our heads. Conventual educational systems are built on sitting as a condition to learning. So we regularly use mainly our heads and hands for writing/typing.

Recently, research-based initiatives have promoted incorporating movement into our daily routines, and advocate the benefits of physical activity while working and studying. 

Conclusion

All these bullets are interconnected, and there are probably more. I know you might think this post is biased toward the children’s mindset. The truth is, I love children (what a revelation – d’oh), and I want to remind myself what it was like to think like a child. More importantly, I want to access the childlike mindset hidden in my grown-up head, and actively switch between them when I want to. Is it even possible? A girl can dream, right? :) I’ll keep you posted.

Knowing the differences in learning modes can make us better listeners and guides, no matter your role in shaping children’s learning experience. Try playing with your settings, and actively choosing the mode you want to be in, right now. Switching between the modes can reveal new perspectives, get things moving when you feel stuck, or just reconnect you to yourself or to others.

For dessert, take a look at an article that presents similarities in successful adult and children learning

Was any of this helpful? Please let me know. I’m always looking to learn. :)

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